Breast Cancer In Kaleidoscope
An accidental find
this small pea sized lump
lodged in the soft tissue of a breast.
An icy stab of terror straight to the heart.
Breathing ceased, the brain clouded over
stomach dropped into the feet
and threatened to turn in revulsion
The hand returns again and again to the breast
praying to find the evidence gone.
Tears flow.
Appointments are made.
A flood of information
Decisions...choices...more decisions.
Lumpectomy, mastectomy, reconstruct....don't reconstruct.
Watching the lights on the ceiling go by
as you travel down the hall on a gurney.
Sweet oblivion followed by awakening groggy and sore.
The hand exploring again but bandage masks the evidence.
The long wait for biology results
Exhaling when the news is good.
Radiation to the offending tissue which is red and sore.
Chemo as an added measure.
Hair left daily in clumps on the pillow or in the shower.
Perpetual nausea and gums that swell and bleed
when teeth are brushed.
Finally all treatment is over.
Now an eternity of waiting and watching begins.
A tiny kernel of fear remains.
Lodged deeply and forever.
©D.W.Rickard 2000
This poem is dedicated to three of my friends. All
young women who faced breast cancer.
Each dealing with it in her own way. All with courage and determination.
This is for Sharon, Cathy and Madonna. I admire your courage and pray for your continued good health.