Turning Fifty

My blood pressure is high
The scales they don't lie
and walking makes me weak at the knees.
My poor back won't bend
I'm wearing Depends
and crossing my legs when I sneeze.
The food that I eat
Is bound to repeat.
It causes my cholesterol to go wild.
I am popping my pills
forgetting to pay bills
And the headaches I get aren't so mild
I don't sleep at night
my breathing is not right
so they have hooked me to a CPAP machine.
My eyesight is poor
I don't hear well no more
and sometimes my temper is plain mean.
But if you walk by
I'll wave and say hi
and ask how you are doing my friend.
If you have couth
you won't tell me the truth
you will just tell me a lie and pretend.
You won't bitch and complain
about your aches and pains
for we each have enough of our own.
You will smile back at me
and we'll both just agree
to leave all the garbage at home.

©D.W.Rickard 2001